Thanks. I feel like even more shit now. I know things are getting bad. But I promise I’m trying as hard as I can to get better! Some days this disease is stronger than me. Ok?! Don’t think it’s such a simple fix.
I started smoking… It’s really comforting.
I hope it suppresses my appetite for than it already does cuz cigs are cheaper than food :p
I have been doing okay.. But not good enough to lose. 106.5
Dad is trying to make ne eat more. If I do a running group he will make a meal plan. Wtf. Ugh! I see my Ed doctor in a month too.. Hmm fuck you life.
I me with my therapist today and he told me that my eating disorder could “easilly get out of control”. I don’t know how to tell him it already has.
I miss Jake so much. I miss holding his hand and his hugs and the security of his smile. :/
My dad told me that I have to @get enough calories” and if I run this summer with the people at the new school I’m starting at I have to eat more. I’m not fucking any more hungry and I’m mad. I want to scream. I’m overwhelmed.
I lost weight again and I see my eating disorder doctor today. Shit. I was 104.5 this morning.. If I’m still there it’s a new low and my doctor will know